Friday 11 May 2007

No Red Bull Required - The Penthouse Suite, Clarence Hotel

Who can sleep! Not me. It's early and I am awake. Light is creeping in and I can actually hear noises from Sue's side of the room! Is she up too!? A miracle!

It's here. D Day! In a few hours we will be in the Limo. It's so exciting neither Sue nor I can contain ourselves... and... we both want to pee and it's not our turn in the bathroom yet!!!!

Everyone is handling this morning their own way, and as we shower and get dressed there is a mild hysteria in the air. We all have to share a suitcase, and Julie volunteers hers. We duly stuff it with our shoes, bags, knickers and tights. And then there are hairdryers and straighteners, and make-up, and toiletries. Oh and notebooks and presents. And clothes for lounging around in. And clothes for leaving in tomorrow. Surely we are going to forget something.

12.30 approaches and I get a phone call on my mobile - it makes me jump. It's Caroline from The Clarence, asking when we are going to be arriving. I tell her 1.30. Next thing, the house phone rings. It's Keith, the limo driver, asking for directions. Sue helps out. Then we have to wait. It seems a long and agonising wait. We pace, endlessly, round and round the living room and Dianne captures it on video. We are all nervous and excited and full of anticipation.

Eventually, I head out the door to stand and wait in the garden. Soon, I see a car, impossibly long and white and shiny, heading towards me. With the sea wall and the pale brown sand as its backdrop it looks out of place, especially when it parks up across the road from the house, half on the pavement because the road here is very narrow and the traffic is busy.

We drag out the suitcase, and all our bags and paraphernalia (our dinner dresses are in suit bags), and get into the limousine. Inside it is as mad as I imagined it to be, with mirrors and lights and dozens of glasses. We open the bottle of sparking wine and toast ourselves and the day. The driver offers to put on some Norah Jones (!) but of course we have our own plans and have brought some DVDs with us. We stick on "U2 Go Home" from Slane, and that plays as we drive through the streets.

It is so weird being in a limo! The fact that you can see out but no one can see in gives you the opportunity to gawp at people and observe them without them realising. And I never realised that people's reaction and attitude to limos can be so odd! Some ignore us completely. Some try to discreetly look out of the corner of their eye while feigning disinterest. And some react quite blatantly, either by flipping us the finger, or - as in one case - by showing gestures of respect. Maybe they wonder who is inside. Some care and some don't. It's funny.

When we get to The Clarence, men on the door at the front of the hotel start fussing around us. They open the limo door for us, help us with our bags, and lead us into the reception. There, we are greeted by a confusing array of staff, so many I can’t keep up. A man (the duty manager) welcomes us and asks if we would like to join them in the bar for a drink. We decline because we are just so excited to get into the penthouse, to have our long awaited Cosmos and get into the swing of things. He tells us that if there is anything he can do for us while we are there, then we should not hesitate to let him know.

A woman then gives us the tour of the amenities of the hotel and then takes us up to the penthouse suite. Words can’t describe my feelings as we go up in the lift and then she leads us through one of the three entrances into the suite! There is a main, double-door entrance and then a single door either side. The idea is that the whole place can be separated into three suites by locking various internal door. This may be so that the hotel can rent the penthouse out as three suites when they need to, or even so that people who book the penthouse can house their friends in privacy in various parts.

The woman shows us all the rooms, and we are just bewildered. It is so huge. When she has gone, Sue and I do the whole thing again, this time with me filming it and Sue doing her “estate agent” act, leading me around the rooms and out onto the balconies. It is such a beautiful place, and far exceeds our expectations. There is a large, modern kitchen with trendy accessories and even a dishwasher, a dining room with a table for 8 people, large living room with peat-burning stove, two bedrooms, two (and a half - mustn’t forget the little room!) bathrooms, walk in closets large enough to live in… the list goes on.

By far the most beautiful feature of this wonderful penthouse is the 40 foot long “Gallery” that is accessed via a spiral staircase. It has a fully stocked bar at one end, a baby grand piano, two huge sofas and a chaise longue, large flat-screen TV and DVD. The whole place is lined with the wood that is the trade-mark of the hotel, and subtle, hidden lighting gives a stylish effect. At the East and West ends of the Gallery are porthole windows with fantastic views of the city. I feel Dublin all around me, wrapped around me like a cloak. Whenever I look out of the windows it is there and it makes me smile. And going out onto the long, front balcony is spectacular: the river winds away from left to right, adorned with bridges and cars and people; and there is a breeze in the air, and the sun touches my face. It's like a dream, but it's true. We are here, and it is fantastic!

With so much to see and experience, it is hard to know what to do first. We want to make the most of this and experience it to the full. First off, we have our cocktails, which have appeared as if by magic on the table in the Gallery. They are delicious and just how we like them - burnt orange peel and all!

The afternoon passes by in a haze of excitement and great experiences! There is a bottle of champagne in the living room downstairs and we are not sure if we should drink it (goodness knows how much it costs!) but we are told that it is complimentary. Mmm… strange, we think, but don’t look a gift horse in the mouth and we have it whilst basking in the hot tub on the rear balcony. It feels so decadent, and it is! It is truly how the other half live. It’s slightly cold and windy, but the sun is shining, and we have our luxuriously thick Clarence bathrobes to step into when we leave the cocoon of soapy foam.

As the afternoon wears into evening, we cover every inch of the penthouse. We sit on the balconies, particularly the front one, which stretches the entire length of the front of the building. I stand there in the bright sun and drink my champagne while across the street, on the other side of the river, passers by look up and wave, wondering who it is up here in the penthouse suite of U2's hotel. An open topped tour bus goes past and the tour guide points out the rock band's pad (I know they do because I have been on that bus!), and cameras come out and people crane to see. I feel like a celebrity up here, and know that I am far enough away so that no one can really see me!

At the back of the penthouse, accessed from upstairs in the Gallery in the bar area, is a small balcony with a table and two chairs. This looks over a large roof terrace area (The Garden Terrace Suite, we later discover) and is where U2 filmed the video for "Beautiful Day". It's funny to imagine Larry's drum kit set up, and the band singing down there.

Soon, it is time to get ready for dinner, and the best thing about this place is that there is no shortage of bathrooms or places to change, so we do it quite quickly. It's great to put on our special outfits that we had planned for months. In no time at all we are all looking very glamorous, and pose for photos on the spiral staircase.

The Tea Room is low lit and quiet when we arrive. Someone opens the door for us as we go in, and tells us we are all looking very beautiful! We get to our table, and the maitre 'd greets us and pulls out our chairs. He turns to me and says "Good evening, Ms Voisey, there is an envelope for you." and hands me an envelope that had been waiting in the middle of the table. We are all slightly curious, but inside me I have the strangest feeling. I know what this is. I have been expecting it, although there has never been any reason to. Everything happens in slow motion as I remove the note inside, and I can feel everyone's eyes on me.

On an A5 sheet of Clarence notepaper are the words - in bold black typeface - "Happy Birthday, Love Bono". I gasp and incredulously hand the note to the others. At the same second, the maitre 'd produces a bottle of champagne, and we hardly believe it so have to ask - just to be certain. It is from Bono, the champagne. To celebrate Dianne's birthday. I can't believe that he remembered, although as I mentioned, somewhere deep inside I knew he would, and would not let this go by.

For about half an hour we are all stunned and near to tears. The maitre 'd is amused but kindly discreet. It takes us ages to get around to looking at the menu, but eventually, we do and dinner passes in a kind of ecstatic haze. The main topic of conversation is obvious, but we do have the time and presence of mind to appreciate the food. My fois gras is too rich, but the main course of salmon with tomato is delicious, as is the creme brulee for dessert.

At the end of the meal (during which we can't help noticing the staff looking over and chatting to each other about us! Wondering what our connection with Bono is, no doubt!), we decide to head into The Study - the residents' bar - to finish off our wine. I ask for the bill and the waitress goes off to fetch it. The maitre 'd then collars her, and a discussion takes place and a phone call is made. Very weird! Then the maitre 'd comes over and says that the bill is taken care of! We are stunned all over again. We know the champagne is on Bono, but now it seems our wine is too.

What an evening so far! And the night is still young! When we get back to the suite, we quickly change into our lounging gear and stick a U2 DVD on the entertainment system. We plan to stay up for the whole of this experience, and have even brought a stash of Red Bull to keep us going. But our adrenaline and the excitement of having Bono very much a part of our special visit to the penthouse, makes it very easy to stay awake.

So we go out onto the balcony again and look at the lights of Dublin, twinkling red, green and white and reflecting in the black waters of the Liffey.

No comments: